Unforgettable Tuesday, June 9, 2009 is a day that changed my life forever. On that day I lost my best friend, my mentor, my rock, my mother. In order to fully understand I want to describe the events leading up to this.
At the age of forty-six my mother suffered a stroke, leaving her unable to swallow. My mother was being fed through a G-tube, as well as receiving her medications through it. With therapy and determination my mother was able to swallow and speak again. Six years later we discovered her heart was not functioning the way it needed to for her to live a healthy life. My mother was told she needed open heart surgery.
We tried to explore other options but were told this was our only option. The day before her surgery I spent hours with her lying on her lap as she played with my hair. She was talking about how afraid of the surgery she was and how she knew she would not live through it. My daughters called her on the telephone to speak with her since they were at another relatives house. She tells my oldest daughter Arians, “l love you Arians, make sure you behave for mommy. ” My youngest daughter Juliann picks up the telephone and says to her grandmother, “Mom-mom don’t worry the angels are going to carry you.At that moment my mother looks at me and dropped the telephone. I asked her “Mom what’s wrong? ” She told me what Juliann had said and tears filled her eyes.
She turned to me and said “Listen I know now more than ever that I will not be making it out of this surgery. I need you to be strong for your brothers and your daughters. ” I looked at my mother and said, “Mom don’t be silly you will be Just fine I know it. ” I left my mother’s house that night with so much fear and sadness. The morning of her surgery I called my mother and reminded her that I love her and I will talk to her after her surgery.
She again reminded me of our conversation from the night before. My brother Omar was keeping me updated on my mother’s progress through surgery. She did not want me to worry about her so she asked me to continue through my day as normal. She wanted me to go to work and “save lives” as she put it. At 3:30 p. M. I get text message from Omar that read “Mom is doing great, the doctors Just came out and told me she should be out of surgery soon. ” I did not get the chance to reply back since I was working on the ambulance and was on a call.
Than at around 7:00 p. . My cellular phone begins to ring as I am in the diddle off cardiac arrest call. I was unable to answer the call and it was answered by my vocalism. I than hear the tone alerting me that I had a message. Once I turned over care to the nurses in the emergency room I took out my cellular phone and began to listen to the message. It was Omar sobbing, “Anna you need to get here quick! The doctors Just came out and told me mom isn’t doing well and she isn’t going to make it! ” My eyes immediately filled up with tears, I could not believe what I was hearing.
It took me a minute to get it together and realize it’s happening Just as she aid. I knew I had to be strong for my three brothers and my daughters. I immediately called my supervisors and advised them as to what was going on and was parked. As I was in route to Cooper Hospital all I could do was cry. I knew once I was at the hospital I would become everyone’s rock like my mother asked. I called my husband and advised him of what was happening.
He said he was aware and was on his way to the hospital with our children. I arrived at the hospital and made it to the intensive care unit where I was greeted by my father.He began to weep and embraced me.
At that moment I felt like my world was collapsing. Thoughts running through my head, “What will I do without her? She’s my best friend, how could this be happening? What will I tell my daughters? I put my brave face on and walked into the room where my mother was lying. There she was lifeless and my heart Just shattered. I could not contain the tears as they rolled down my face. I asked everyone to get out of the room because I wanted to address the doctor alone.
My family does not understand medical terminology.I did not want to confuse them with the questions I was going to ask the actor. I leaned over and whispered into my mother’s ear “Mom I am here, I made it. ” At that very moment I noticed one single tear drop roll down my mother’s left cheek. I than grabbed her arm and realized how cold her extremities were. I looked at the machine and saw vital signs of 96 heart rate, 22 respirations, and a blood pressure of 110/86. I looked over at the doctor that was standing in the room and asked, “She’s gone isn’t she? ” He realized I was in uniform and stated miss, the vital signs you see is the machine that’s working for her.
He then told me inform mother did not make it if the bypass machine and she bled out. ” I leaned over my mother and began to cry quietly. I was the one that had to face my family and make them understand what happened to my mother. I stood up and opened the curtain to my mother’s bedside where I saw my daughters asking my brother Omar, “Why isn’t mom-mom smiling like she always does? ” “Why isn’t mom-mom talking? I went over and embraced them and told them mom-mom was with the angels like Juliann said she would be. They didn’t quite understand what I was telling them at that moment.The rest of my family went into he room and all you could hear down the all were the cries of my brothers, father, and friends. I knew it was real, I knew I had to keep things together for the family. Being the youngest of four children and the only female has been something difficult.
I than went into the room and asked the doctor if I could remove the equipment off of my mother. He looked at me puzzled and stated “Eve never had that request before, but if it’s something you want to do it’s fine with me. ” I waited for my family to say their goodbyes to her and closed the curtain.There I stood in front of y mother the woman that had done it all for me. I turned off the cardiac machine and saw her chest deflate and her respirations stop. I began to hear all the noises coming from the machines alerting nurses something was wrong.
I knew she was really gone and there was no turning back. I leaned over my mother and cleaned her up, gave her a kiss. I than promised her I would do as she asked. That night I left the hospital completely destroyed emotionally. I knew the process had only Just begun for me. Now it was time for the funeral and arrangements and let out all of my frustrations before arriving home.
Once I arrived, I sat down with my husband and began funeral arrangements. The day came where friends and family gathered to say their final goodbyes to an amazing woman, my mother. I kept my promise to my mother and was strong for everyone else. She knew with me being in the medical field I was able to withstand the emotion. I translated the entire service from English to Spanish. Everyone was walking up to me and asking “How could you stand up there and translate as if it wasn’t your mother lying in the casket? ” My response was “This is what she would have wanted from me. “At the conclusion of the viewing we were all gathered around the casket. I can still remember the sound as they lowered my mother’s body in the casket so that the door could be closed.
, I closed the casket and that’s where I could no longer contain my sadness. I wept over her casket, knowing I would never hear or see her again. Today, four years later things seem so vivid in my mind. I can still remember all the conversations from that day as well as all the sounds. The pain of not having my mother around anymore has not gone away. This entire experience for me has been completely unforgettable.